My husband is NO help at night...?Here is a little background information: My son is 3 months old. Has GERD, MSPI, and colic. Its very hard on us, but he is a miracle. I was told I could not have children without medical intervention, and have been on birth control since I was 16 to control the condition that causes my infertility. So we were pretty shocked to find out we were going to have a baby. I am a PhD student and a teacher at a university in a city an hour away and my husband owns a remolding company. He is 33, I am 29.
Here is what took place tonight:
I put our son down at 10:00. I got to sleep until 11:45. He then woke up, I changed him, fed him, burped him and rocked him until 1:15. I then put him down and went back to bed. He started fussing again 30 min later, I had not fallen back asleep yet. I picked him up and he instantly let out a huge belch. He then wanted to eat again (about 2:30 am now), so I woke my husband up to see if he could change our sons diaper and console him while I fixed him up a bottle. Here is how the conversation went:
Me. Sorry to wake you, but could you please change him while I get his bottle ready?
Him. Exaggerated sigh, then, "I don't know why you can't just sleep through all his fussing."
Me. Well, because I am his mom, and him fussing usually means he needs something, therefore I take care of him.
Him. I am in no mood to fight at 3 am.
Me. I don't know what we have to fight about, I've just gotten a little over an hour of sleep and was just asking for some help.
Him. I said, I don't want to f-ing fight. I''m just going to start sedating him so he sleeps during the night and there is nothing you can do to stop me. (I was on here about a week ago stating my husband got a prescription from HIS doctor, not our ped, and he wanted to "drug" our baby. I refuse outright.)
Me. All I wanted was for you to help me for 5 minutes while I fixed a bottle.You are not the only one that has a job to do and have to function all day tomorrow. I am sorry I asked. Go back to sleep so I don't have to listen to you being a jerk.
Him. Here's an idea. I will quit my business, we can go on welfare, since you clearly do not make enough money, and then I will be available to help you whenever you want.
About 5 minutes later Him. Are you seriously crying?
I did not respond, just took the baby down to the living room where we could spend the rest of the early morning there.
My mother in law knows how irresponsible he is and comes over 2 times a week to help me clean, do laundry, let me take a nap, etc. Otherwise, I clean, cook, work, study, commute to class, and take care of the baby all on my own. His contributions are a paycheck, and some help from 6pm-10pm.
So a few questions:
Can he "drug" our baby without my agreement?
Am I unreasonable to be crying and clearly upset at this point?
Is there anything I can do to help him grow up and realize being a father means 24/7 not just during the day when its convenient?
-Ronnie
What an @$ $ . I'll be baby daddy number two and take care of your kid and sleep with mommy at night.
-Ellie
You are not being unreasonable at all! I would have gone mental at him. What a massive jerk. If he drugged your baby, he could be charged. He could kill him, for goodness sakes. I'm really sorry your husband doesn't understand what you're going through. I would withold sex from him, and refuse to cook and clean for him, and when he starts 'fussing' say "I'm going to ignore your fussing, imagine how our sick baby would feel if I did the same." that is only what I would do though, and since I don't know your husband, I'm not sure hoe he'd react :S
I hope you don't have to put up with this to much longer, and although the nights of actually sleeping seem far away, they will come soon enough! Hang in there, you're doing great.
-Aussiemotherof2
Im truely so sorry for you, your husband obviously was not ready to be a daddy. My man is also 33 and he is an awesome father, i think your partner needs to grow up, he should be helping you out seeing as you have only given birth a few months ago. talk to him during the day when he is more awake tell him how you feel or it will never get any better. my fiance is sitting here and he is appauled, he said to tell your man to quote "harden up". and i would never want anyone to drug there child expecially at 3 months old. my youngest did not sleep through until 2yo so i understand the exhaustion, but thats part of being a parent. i never ever ever once thort of drugging my son, EVER, they will sleep through when they are ready.
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