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I have sinned God please help?I have seek advice from a psychologist, so please take it seriously.
I have been in a relationship with this guy and turned out he was only looking for xxx and not knowing I was being taken advantage of. I feel so stupid and I regret it a lot for my own actions and now I have to deal with the consequences in life. This guy has ruined my entire life. I don't know how I can move on without thinking about it everyday, and how I end up hating myself even more now. I gave the guy a few blowjobs, and now I have a Gastrointestinal Disease or LPR that cause a high risk for throat, nose, esophagus, and stomach cancer. I also have nasopharyngitis, laryngitis, esophagitis, and gastritis. I was even rushed into the Emergency room for painkillers. My tissues are chronically inflamed and burnt. I am in constant pain 24/7 each day. I have to keep it a secret from parents, but I never lost my virginity to the guy, although I think I could have been pregnant. I asked my doctor for HIV and STDs test, and the doctor told me don't hangout with strangers you don't know. I felt stupid and that I regret it a lot. I am a good college student and I had A's and now my life is ruined all because of this guy. I did not use a condom, and I did not protect myself. My parents wondered what happened to me and cried, and now they have to take care of me because of my health problems. I feel like a financial burden to my parents now. I know I will die from cancer someday because I have a high risk. Because of my stupid decision and bad romance I caused myself a lot of pain. I met this guy online, so it was a very bad idea. I also met this guy after my relative's wedding, I guess because I saw everyone was paired up, I wanted to have a boyfriend as well. I guess I was a bit jealous. I never really thought about my actions or what consequences it would bring to me. Now everyone in schools finds out about me and they call me a whore, slut, dirty, stupid, and other names. I just felt really bad. Now my grandma and my aunt and family wonders when I will get a boyfriend and marry. I really don't know what to tell them because I am a good kid, but now I felt like I am a bad kid. I am in physical pain everyday from heartburn and GERD. Because of the extreme physical pain that I am going through each day, I felt the need to end the pain. I have even thought about commiting suicide or euthenasia. I cannot even imagine having head and neck cancer someday in my life which can be terminal. I seemed to have destroyed my life because I put my health at risk. The disease have affected my quality of life a lot and now I cannot eat my favorite foods anymore. I am such a disgrace now in my generation and history. I know I have one life to live, but it seemed like I had ruined this life of mine already. I have given my body to a guy that does not respect me. Because of this disease that causes me pain everyday, I don't even feel like waking up or have the strength to get out of bed in the morning to school, or maybe even going to work. I felt like suicide was the only way out to get rid of the pain inside me. I am even on medicine and pills for the rest of my entire life. I wish God have saved me, but he did not. I wish I could have changed time or go back, but it is lost. I wish I can move on, but the physical pain from Gerd is just intolerable. The physical pain reminds me how I wish I have not done it with the guy and how I wish I never met him. I am even born on Christmas. I feel so unlucky, I don't know why this guy took advantage of me, maybe because I let him. I don't know how I can live down this life filled with so much agony in my digestive system. I no longer feel normal, because of the pain. I do not want to have children or have my own family or husband. But telling this to my grandma and my parents will be some unhappy news coming from my mouth. I don't want arranged marriages or to date guys in my life ever again, because of how other guys treat me. I think I might just end up in divorce in the future. Little did I know about my own safety. Relationships are complicated and sometimes toxic. The jerk has hurt me very badly and controlling, because I am a vulnerable young girl in her 23 who doesn't know anything about life. He was a threat to me health.My plan is to stay single forever and pursue higher education, so I can protect myself and repay my parents for taking good care of me for more than 20 years of my life. I do not want a guy to control my life. But only I can make all this happen for myself, but I am a lazy person so it takes time. Living with cancer someday is going to be very painful. I am graduating this year from a 4 year college with my bachelor's degree and I am planning to continue . The economy is not so good, so jobs are difficult to look for. I have to work extra hard because I have many diseases and health issues. It is a good thing I don't have children or else I could
I am seriously depressed because of my health condition and fears for my future. Please give me some good suggestions and strength to move forward in life and the pursuit of my own happiness before I die from cancer someday? (should I create a bucketlist?) I do visit my ancestors at the cemetary when I was little with my parents. If I am going to be single forever, I guess I need to save money for hospice care if I have terminal cancer someday. Should I be cremanated or put in a coffin instead? This is a human life that I am talking about, so please take it seriously.
-Rick Roll
TL'DR- Troll somewhere else, and be better at it....
-hammerhead
i didnt ever BOTHER reading this, i just read the title......Ok shorten it up! dang....Anyways. i do not think you can ask god for forgiveness, on yahoo Answers..............
-Ally
God is on yahoo answers?
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