Stressed Out PLEASE HELP!!!?I've had a pretty difficult past few yrs. I was in 2 year relationship and I found out I was pregnant. When I was 3 months pregnant I found out that my best friend took advantage of me when I was drunk. ( I should have been more responsible). His sister e-mailed me and told me that her brother told her that my baby might be his. I told boyfriend about it and he stood by myside. Then on Christmas eve he broke up with me. Minding you I just turned 9 months. He blew me off for the rest of the time but only went with me to my prenatal visits. 3days before my son was born he started dating this girl from work. And kept lying to me about he just needed to to himself. A couple days later we tooka paternity test and found out that he was not the father. I was devistated and went into a form of depression. I was so blinded by everything that he would tell me after that with all the " I Love You's" & the "I dont want to be with her" and messing with my head, he continued to have a whenever-he- felt-like-it- relationship with me. Then I became pregnant by him and he had me have an abortion because he didnt want it and I couldn't take care of another child. But by the time i went to have the procedure done, i have an ectoptic pregnancy and had to have the procedure done regardless. Then few months later I met my husband. At first we didnt look at each other in any sexual kind of way since we both just came out of pretty bad relationships. The first week we talked non-stop, about anything and everything. He fell in love with my son from the day he met him. 2 months later we got married. Everything happened so fast. From the time we got married my husbands help went down hill. We got married in September. In september he found out he had kidney stones, October Pnemonia, November atrial fibulation (which is very rare in a 24yrs old.) December, upper respiratory infection that lasted 2weeks. January his Gerd and acid reflex was really bad. April he had another upper respiratory infection and found out he has asthma. This monday he just had surgery because he had an inguinal hernia. in December he got laid off from work. And we had to move back to my parents house in April, (due to financial problems.) July he decided to go back to school for his Bachlors' in Business Management & got his job back working part-time. I just graduated from Medical Assisting and got my diploma last months. I can't afford daycare so I can work or have anyone in my family that can watch him until I can find a daycare i can afford. Then being a first time mom while my sons going through his teribble two's at one, and getting spoiled by my parents. I still havent found a job yet. Then my husband is also a rapper and put his dreams aside and decided that now is the time to start. He'd leave the house at 8'oclock and wont come back until 4 in the morning. I dont know what to do. My family tells me thats not good, and i trust & love him but have second thoughts. Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with stress?
-R 4 M l3 0
Kick back. Grab some Doritos. Turn on the tv. Light up a blunt... you know the rest.
-Nymphy
Wow, I would site down and talk to him bring up your concerns. He doesn't need to be doing that, he has a family now and that is what comes first. Nothing good come come of his actions as they are now. It will only get more and more stressful. Just prepare your self and decide what to say ahead of time, especially if he chooses to put that life style about his families needs. I wish you the best of luck!
-Laura Anne
Wow, you have a lot on your plate right now. First, let me tell you that all of this seems to be happening way too fast. How old are you? So, your son is the product of you being taken advantage of. Have you considered getting any counseling about that? You were basically raped and now have a child as a result of that. This is one of those things that will come back up in your life repeatedly if you don't address it now. There are services available to help you with this.
As far as your husband, wow, that is a tough call. His medical conditions are troubling and I can understand why you are worried about them. Being out all night is irresponsible and he needs to be making you and your lives together more of a priority. He needs to put all of his focus into school and getting a better job so you guys stand a chance at something better than living with your parents. You can apply for assistance through the state to help pay for childcare while you work or go to school.
I know that this sounds terrible, but, please make sure that you are being very careful not to get pregnant again right away. With an ectopic history and the amount of stress that you are under right now, you need to be focused on your son and yourself. This marriage doesn't sound like it is on a great path. Do you have a church that you can go to to talk to the pastor for help?
Good luck and I'll be thinking about you!
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